Gogovivi

Procrastination Means Love

It has taken me four months of procrastination, but I have just finished editing the photos from a newborn baby portrait session from last September.

Four months of forgetfulness, avoidance, and indecision. I couldn't decide which photos I liked, which I wanted to edit, or how I wanted the final shots to look. I was too busy with other things, and just too burned out with photo editing to bother. The mom even had to come to me and say..."uh, Kiley, I know you're busy, but remember those photos you took...?"

This isn't my normal professional behavior. I usually turn around my clients photographs within two weeks. But you see, this wasn't my normal "client", either. These photos were of my friend Rebecca and her baby Marty(pants), and these photos were special. They were the last of a long series that I started taking of Rebecca when she was 15 weeks pregnant, a series that documented her changing body and journey into motherhood, a series that grew as our friendship grew, and resulted in some of the best photos I have ever taken. These photos were also the last ones I had the privilege to shoot of this beautiful pair, before they left Qingdao to repatriate to the U.S.

It seems obvious to me now the putting off finishing the photos was my way of denying that this chapter is over, that Rebecca and Marty have moved on, and that an ocean and twelve time zones now separates me from my good friend. Although we only knew each other for two years, her influence remains. It shows most clearly in my photography, for which she patiently sat still over the course of eleven different sessions while I tested new techniques, new lighting, and new locations. But it also shows in other, subtler ways. Rebecca taught a 40-year old me to shake my booty, Latin style, as my Zumba teacher. As a devoted and confident Christian, she suffered through long discussions about faith, what it means, who the faithful are, and the loss of all faith I experienced when Miles died, all without defense or judgement. She got me hooked on Chinese massage, to the point that for a time, she and I were getting two massages a week. She is a business woman, a fashionista, a fitness instructor, a Christian, and a true friend.

I want to share some of my favorite photos from these sessions. Like this one, which I took while lying in the pool in my bikini, when Rebecca was so pregnant at 39.5 weeks that she could barely float.

Here, she is 30 weeks pregnant and still teaching Zumba 4 times a week.

Or these two, which I love for their simple beauty, taken as I was learning to wrangle off-camera flash, before her baby bump really even showed.

The photos are finally done, Rebecca. These are the last of them. I procrastinated because I miss you and didn't want our time together in Qingdao to end. With all my love.

The Moon over Qingdao

What a beautiful surprise in the sky last night - a full lunar eclipse, and perhaps a greater surprise, a clear and crisp, smog-free night in Qingdao on which to view it. Having never attempted to photograph such an event before, I set up in the sub-freezing temperatures in the back garden with my camera, tripod, remote release, and 300 mm lens to see what I could do.

It was a beautiful way to spend a winter's evening. Knowing that friends around Asia and even on the other side of the Pacific were watching the same moon at the same moment made it even more special. In those moments, I felt not so far from home.

Holiday Cards and Calendars: For a Purpose

This holiday season, in a new endeavor, I have designed a range of holiday cards, note cards, and calendars using my photographs and original designs.

The details are all in the flyer above, and I will be selling the entire range until December 11. Prices are as follows:

• Holiday cards: packets containing 5 cards of one style (choose either China or Qingdao): 40 RMB
• Note cards: packets containing 6 assorted cards (3 packets to choose from): 40 RMB
• Calendars: Two designs to choose from, A4 size, spiral bound, 14 pages: 100 RMB each.

All proceeds will go to A Voice is Heard, a small non-profit community development organization that operates in developing countries. This February I plan to volunteer my time and money to travel to Kenya with this group to document in photographs their current projects, which include building wells, small business development, and other community-based projects. The funds I raise will cover my travel expenses and all remaining proceeds will be given to the group as a cash donation.

These cards and calendars make a great gift for friends and family back home, to help showcase the culture and beauty of China.

Please support me and A Voice is Heard by buying my holiday cards, notecards, and calendars this holiday season. You can reach me at gogovivi@gmail.com with direct orders or visit me at the Qingdao holiday markets.

 

 

Party Photobooth: fun with a camera

I am not a party genius, but I have a friend who is. She puts together these fantastic, fun, inventive parties for her kids, AND she makes beautiful cakes. I, on the other hand, can take an ok photo but can't make a cake that looks worth eating (though it may taste fantastic). She and I got smart this year and joined forces for our girl's parties. She will bake a cake for Vivian come November, and in return, I photographed her kid's party and set up a photo booth.

The party was great - a spy scavenger hunt, of all things, how brilliant is that? Let me tell you, it was the best party ever. I followed around the party snapping shots of all the excitement, and when the birthday bandit was finally foiled and the cake was found intact and ready to eat, I set up a photo booth to capture a photo of every kid.

I used a simple setup of some cloth hung over a bar as a backdrop. I placed the entire setup in open shade and used a single flash on 1/16 power in a softbox on camera left for lighting. I set up my camera on a tripod and had every kid sit in the same spot, using the props of their choice. All these fun props, and more, I downloaded for free from accent the party and ohhappyday. The kids will each get a print of their photo when thank-you cards are sent out later in the week.

Let me know if you are in Qingdao and want a photobooth at your next kids party! I trade photography for cake...or party planning...or even cash.

Looking at Myself: Self-portraiture

I've been suffering from photographer's malaise. It started at the end of June when I ended my portrait work for the summer. I was feeling tired, uninspired, and I couldn't even be bothered to carry my camera with me when visiting such photogenic places as, say, Prague. One of the most photographically inspiring cities in the world, and all I carried was my iPhone. I feel like I am up against a creative wall. Its a feeling I know well, because I have here before. In the past, similar situations have led me to dramatic measures like a complete change of creative direction. The last time I was up against a creative wall was when I closed my Etsy shop (I used to design and handmake leather handbags). That's when this current photography bug hatched.

I am feeling frightened and anxious about this malaise. I don't want to burn out with photography, I want to get over this hump, not quit. I want to feel high on creative energy, full of ideas, and excited to press the shutter. I want to continue to grow my skills and my creativity, to build a portfolio of images of which I am supremely proud, and to build confidence.

Self-portrait #1

Confidence is the kicker. I know my way around a camera. I have a good eye for composition. I can take a good picture. But when it comes to working with other people, to being "on" and needing to produce a pleasing, technically correct, and creative product, I sorta lose my confidence. And that, the losing it, I attribute to lack of experience. Some moments, when I am in a creative groove, and feeling it flow with the person I am photographing (a recent session in a swimming pool comes to mind, more later) I forget about myself and forget about the photographer-subject dynamic, and just flow. And the shots I love, the creative, well-composed, and well exposed shots, follow. In those moments, I am a photographer.

How do I get from malaise to flow? I need practice. I need hours behind the camera, experimenting with lighting, exposure, setting. I need a subject who never complains and never questions my creative vision. I need me.

Welcome to my self-portraiture project. I will be showing up here, weekly or semi-weekly, perhaps even twice a week, offering my creative vision of myself. For a photographer, being in front of the camera is to be in a vulnerable position. Please be gentle.

Linking up with Tuesdays around the World at Communal Global and Sweet Shot Tuesday at My 3 Boybarians.

 

Faces of May

It hasn't taken long for the word to get out in Qingdao that I'm available for portrait photography. In May, I shot eight photo sessions: two families, three maternity sessions, one infant, and two children. Knowing that I tend to jump into new endeavors with both feet and get burned out fairly quickly, I am trying to pace myself and offer not more than one session per week and one per weekend. So eight sessions per month has been perfect.

Eight sessions per month may not sound like much to established professionals, but that's not all I have on my plate: I am now also working for two magazines, and I am in negotiations with another potential client. I suddenly have a ton of work, where before I used to work just for my own pleasure. Its an exciting change.

In between photo shoots, I have been working on my new website, Kiley Ariail Photography. About a month ago, I slipped a new link, "Portraiture," into the menu bar at the top of this page, but otherwise, I have been pretty quiet about the site. It's not exactly how I want it yet, but its getting enough content that it feels...somehow...official.

These are my favorite portrait shots from the month of May. I will be adding new shots to the galleries at Kiley Ariail Photography often so feel free to check in now and again.

 

 

Published {Exclamation Point}

Last month I reported on my first venture into editorial photography: how I was hired to shoot the cover story, and several other pieces, for a new Chinese yoga magazine. Well, the magazine is here, my shot is on the cover, and I was given photo credit as promised. I was paid on time, the photo editors did a pretty good job, and basically my artistic vision is intact. To top it all off, the overall quality of the magazine, while not spotless and certainly not on par with similar publications I have seen from other countries, actually exceeded my expectations.

I am really super happy with the outcome. I can't express how exciting it is to see my photos in print, how great it feels to know that other people are going to see my work, and that someone thought my work is good enough to publish and pay me for. Its just...I lack the words...great.

Remember the Circle of Moms Top 25 Expat Mom Blogs contest? Its still going on, I'm still in the running, and still need your votes. Please vote every day until June 6. I'm not going to get first place, but it would be great to finish in the top 5. Plus...soon I'll tell you about the exciting and completely unexpected way the contest has already paid off for me...big time. Remember my recent post Good Things Come? Well more good things are coming my way. wink.

 

Good things come

I have a best friend* who reminds me from time to time of my resourcefulness and ability to make things happen for myself. I am glad she takes the time for these little reminders because sometimes I lose sight of my potential and forget that the world works in a certain way. The way it work is: good things come when I turn off the voices in my head that say I'm not good enough, and let go of the fear that the outcome will be other than I want it to be.

"Things" does not actually equal objects, of course. I am speaking of the other "things" = people, love, luck, work, accomplishments.

Not long ago I blogged about wanting to do good with my photography, and how I decided to start learning portraiture now so that I can be qualified to join Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep next year or whenever I return to the States with my family. Well, my modest, long-range plans were great. They were ambitious, incremental, and left a lot of wiggle room should I need to reconsider. It seems, however, that the Universe had other plans for me: when I wrote to NILMDTS to ask a few questions about qualifications and where I should focus my preparation, I was encouraged, based on a review of the work shown on this blog, to go ahead and apply.

Now.

Not next year or whenever I get back to the U.S., but now. Yes, now.

What else could I do but apply? I shot the additional photos they asked me to, filled out the application,  and hit "send." When the response came, the Universe told me that I can stop worrying about whether I am good enough, and whether a selective organization of professional photographers that does very, very good work, would want someone like me in their ranks. Because the answer was "yes," and now I am an affiliated NILMDTS photographer.

One of the light studies for my application

So what does this all mean for right now? Not much, because there is no NILMDTS chapter in China (and I am not sure that starting one is in my future, although I have considered looking into it). It does mean that I can relax and enjoy my work without this particular added internal pressure to make it "good enough." It also means that I can take advantage of the online training materials offered by NILMDTS to affiliated photographers, and that if and when I am in the States, I can attend live trainings.

Most importantly, it means that there is a way for me to make lemonade from those particular lemons life gave me six years ago.

*Thanks, Julie, for sticking with me for 15 years. My life wouldn't be the same without you.

Mom with a Camera

There's no doubt about it, I'm a MWAC. Mom with a Camera. Its not the kindest of terms, and is used rather derogatorily around the blogosphere to describe people like me: amateurs turned professional wanna-bes, moms who are inspired by their children to hang up a shingle and call themselves professionals.

f/2.0 | 1/200 | ISO 800 | on-camera flash -2.0 FEV

But I embrace the term. I have little doubt that without Vivian, my photographic skills would not have developed like they have (though in my own defense, my return to SLR photography after a 15-year hiatus was inspired not by my child, but by New Zealand).

In honor of Mother's Day, I offer today's shot of my muse. She's why I keep shooting.

 

How to Make My Monday

Send me a message like this:

           Good Happy Easter Morning to You Kiley,

Please do not cease your writing and photographic endeavors. You posses great talent in both fields. It is my wish that you write and photograph a book or many books. Your skill would be enjoyed by many and you will leave a legacy of fine work which you enjoyed compiling. I take snapshots-you give pictures life-a beautiful and appreciated gift. Hope you have a fine day.

A fine day, indeed. A Monday, no less. Grey, foggy, and decidedly downbeat. I am missing my husband (he has been traveling for the past 10 days), I have been uncharacteristically in conflict with Vivian for the past few days, I am feeling like a poor specimen of a mother, and I am feeling overwhelmed by potential and possibility and the work it takes to get from one place to another.  

Then out of the blue comes a little bit of magic that helps turn the day around. And what's more, the sender of the magic isn't even related to me. He likes my work just because he likes my work, and I deeply appreciate the moment he took out of his own day to tell me so.